Patience and lessons

I have been plagued by so many injuries the last little while. Between my messed up knees, my SI joint constantly popping out of place, a badly bruised foot, my smasming piriformis, and blah blah blah I’ve been struggling a lot. I think I’m finally on the mend and I’ve been doing straight up primary (modified to accommodate my mess of a body) with no drop backs for the last week. I think the magic of primary is working and I’m starting to feel better. I’m actually able to start putting my right leg into half lotus for the fist time in over a month. It requires a lot of patience for me, but at the same time I’m finding it soothing. It sometimes feels nice to take care of yourself, to be a little more forgiving and gentle. These aren’t easy things for me. Ashtanga has taught me a lot, and it has definitely brought into sharp focus mant things about my personality, such as my A-type drive and perfectionist tendancies. I don’t bring this out in every aspect of my life, in fact I can be a seriously lazy slacker sometimes, but on my mat I push and I really give it my all every day. I don’t mean that in a braggy sort of “look how hard I work” way. It has actually been a negative, like the pushing and not listening to the feedback from my body. And here I am, injured again. I really struggle with the fine line between “sensation”, which it’s ok to breathe through, and the kind that is actually hurting me, leading to injury. I guess it’s going to continue to be trial and error, sorry body! Part of the problem is that I love asana! It’s so fun to push the body to do things you never imagined yourself capable of! Before this round of knee problems, I was actually making progress on karandavasana. I could get my legs into lotus (and then fall onto my butt), something I absolutely never thought I’d do. I’m mourning the fun a tiny bit, in all honesty, because the process of healing isn’t so much of that. It is giving me the opportunity to work on my jump backs/throughs, though! I don’t think I’ll ever be someone with one of those effortless floaty practices, but I work on it anyway.

In other news, I put in a request for my leave of absence from work for MYSORE! My plan has been to go for the month of November with a few others from my shala, then travel for two months, including a few week stop in Goa to practice with Rolf. My leave is approved, but the dates were denied. I’m planning to appeal the decision, but I may have to do some readjusting of my plans and go later. It’s a bit intimidating to go on my own for the first trip though, and I’m afraid of not making friends and being lonely. Is this silly? Regardless, I’m committed to going to India this winter at some point and I’m very excited about it. Stay tuned for updates, and if you know nice people who are going and would like to hold my hand through the experience, please put us in touch!

 

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Doing it

Hi friends. It’s only been (not quite) seven days, but so far I have a heavy duty crush on 2013. Have I been working a lot? Yes. Have I been tired? Yes. But somehow the magical shine of newness has managed to stay intact through the past week. How are the resolutions going so far, you might wonder. Here’s the rundown:

  • I epically failed, almost immediately, on my resolution to stay adequately hydrated every day.
  • I am making plans to do a yoga photo shoot in the spring, just to document my practice for my future self.
  • I have started another Whole 30 (my second).
  • Perhaps most exciting, I am in the dreamy, far-away eyes phase of planning a trip to Mysore this year, and potentially (hopefully) more of India.
  • In the meantime, I have totally been going to practice everyday. And what practice it has been!

While our space is quite chilly with its drafty windows and high ceilings, I am still managing to get through it. Today was a bit warmer with the addition of a new heater and some plastic to cover the windows (it was amazing the difference in my body). I’m getting through it in just over an hour now, which seems crazy short. Every day when I get to my last pose it seems to have come so quickly and I have to review to see if I skipped something. I’m getting more fluid with intermediate, not as much stopping to collect myself. Ok, kapotasana is still a definite stalling point, but no one’s perfect. The whole section from eka pada to pincha is killer, in my opinion, and I’m kind of wiped when I get to my knees for my pincha attempts. Pincha is actually going really well, and I think I’m close to getting it. Today I kicked up into it without the wall but couldn’t  hold on for the five breaths. My second attempt I overshot and one foot used the wall a bit, but then I was able to find balance for at least five breaths. I left it at that because I had very limited time, but I’m definitely starting to gain more control as the slight panic about the whole experience recedes. It’s close! I grabbed my ankles in my assisted back bend yesterday (ick, a feeling I don’t love) but today it was just not going to happen. There was no way that second hand was going to safely make it in for the grab. In another exciting development, I have gotten into urdhva padmasana without the use of my hands three days in a row- a first for me! It reminded me again to never say never. There was a time I thought my body would never be capable of at least half of the postures I’m doing now. If you’ve read other posts, that amazement seems to be a frequently repeated sentiment, but it is renewed all the time so I can’t help writing about it! The body is amazing.

Happy practicing this week! Hopefully you’re having success thus far with whatever resolutions you may have made for 2013!