Food is not the enemy

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with my relationship to food. In part it stems from my practice and a desire to be kind to myself, to fuel myself in a healthy way, and of course, to trim down those thighs for an easier bind. It is also a symptom of larger issues. I am a huge emotional eater. I eat when I’m stressed, happy, angry. I reward myself for a hard day with treats.I celebrate with a meal out. I have spent a lot of time  reflecting on non-attachment and what that means in one’s life, and how is it achieved. It’s a real toughie for me. How do we care deeply about the people or activities that we are passionate about, but maintain a level of non-attachment to minimize suffering. Big stuff. I’ll tell the world if I figure out the secret.

In the meantime, I am working hard on my mat. This morning was wonderful. I tried to focus on my breath through the transitions today and it was great. I noticed my tendency to hold my breath as I’m making adjustments getting into some poses, while I will alternately breath very quick and shallow getting into others. I allowed myself the time I needed to get into each asana, but moved with my steady breath. Doesn’t it sound so easy when I say it that way? It’s not easy for me yet. I got some wonderful assists today and my body was cooperative. It was a busy practice, so the room was nice and warm. It’s never as good a practice if you can’t get a real sweat going, but I did today. I was about to start urdhva dhanurasana when my teacher gave me bhekasana, so I’m now four poses into intermediate. Bhekasana is rough for sweaty handed people, like myself. I slide off my feet, making it very challenging to hold the pose. While I understand the mechanics of this posture, I don’t know that I’ve managed to get it quite right in my body. I think I’m arching my back  to take the pressure out of my psoas, but there will be many more days to work on it. I suppose day one doesn’t need to be perfect. Backbends were great today. I felt as though my drop backs were deep and I was mostly able to hold myself steady standing up. All around great start to the day. Hopefully a preview of how the rest of the week will feel.

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2 Comments

  1. February 13, 2012 at 7:05 am

    Honestly, that looks wonderful to me! 🙂

    • February 13, 2012 at 9:50 am

      If only that were me! Sadly, it is a stranger I stole from the internet. Thanks for the support though! 🙂


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